Faith, Hope and Glory

Kiss me, Grandma. One more time.

2011-09-12T01:01:00.002+08:00

Yes, the title is in reference to Britney Spear's hit song 'Baby one more time'. While it is probably an inappropriate title considering the contents to come, it does start the post off on a lighter note.

Just a while ago, the topic of death started bothering me. I thought of the people who died on September 11 10 years ago and invariably, I thought of deaths that had occurred in my family.

When I was younger, I used to visit my paternal grandparents regularly during the school holidays or on the weekends. Whenever I arrived at their homes, I would greet them just as all the children in my family were taught to. Respect was important then, as it still is now. My grandmother would smile when she saw my sister and me, her face crinkling up in delight. Thereafter, she would plant big wet kisses on our faces. I didn't use to like her kissing because well, they were big and wet. And her love for us continued in this manner till the day she died.

A few years later, I entered national service. One of my training sessions in command school brought me to an area designed for urban operations. Incidentally, the area was near the cemetery where my grandmother was buried. That night, the trainees settled down in a sheltered area that was supposedly the market place. I chose to be on the outer areas of the shelter because of better air circulation. Before going to sleep, I removed my camouflage cream from my face with some wet tissues.

That night, I dreamt of grandma. She came up to me smiling, happy to see me as always and planted 2 big kisses on me.

I believed grandma came looking for me that night. I often wonder if she would have found me or even recognized me if I hadn't bothered removing my camouflage cream. Looking back now, I do miss grandma's kisses.

Kiss me, grandma. One more time.

Guts

2011-07-13T23:14:00.002+08:00

Standing in that open door was an obvious moment of truth. Men who had been outstanding in training, men who later won medals for bravery in combat as ordinary infantry, would freeze. Sometimes they were given a second chance, either on that flight after the others had jumped, or the next day. Usually, however, if a man froze once, he would never jump.

Two members of E company froze. They refused to jump. One of them, Pvt. Joe Ramirez, was pushed to the back of the plane, but after everyone jumped out, he told the jumpmaster that he wanted to jump. The plane circled the field. On the second pass, he jumped. As Pvt. Rod Strohl put it, "That took more guts than for a guy to go out the first time."

Excerpt from Band Of Brothers, Stephen E. Ambrose, 2001.

The men of E company were paratroopers earning their wings. I encountered a situation of that sorts a couple weeks back, though it wasn't a situation as demanding as a jump.

I pulled out because i was scared. I was scared. However, a little while later, i regained my composure and proceeded to complete the task. Now i'm not sure if it really takes more guts to complete a task that you were too afraid to complete in the first place. It's a relief to know that sometime in history, somebody understood how I felt at that moment in time and nobody thought too badly of Pvt. Joe.

What I do know is that sometimes when you're scared and uncertain, it's okay to take a step back to gather your thoughts. What is important is that you achieve what you set out to do.

Then. Now.

2011-04-27T23:08:00.002+08:00

Today, I revealed a very vulnerable part of myself, to a group of people whom I had met barely 4 months ago, in a strangely disconcerting setting, at a time when I was not yet ready.

The Serenity Prayer

2009-06-27T22:59:00.002+08:00

Give me

The courage to change what I can change

The serenity to accept what I cannot change and

The knowledge to know the difference

An Irish Blessing

2009-05-10T04:00:00.003+08:00

May love and laughter
light your days
and warm your heart
and home.

May good and faithful
friends be yours
wherever you may roam.

May peace and plenty
bless your world
with joy that long endures.

May all life's
passing seasons
bring the best
to you and yours.

A lesson to learn

2008-10-18T00:59:00.001+08:00

Sticks and stones may break bones, but words will shatter the soul.

A poem to share

2008-05-10T11:59:00.006+08:00

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
When you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is odd with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out,
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the cloud of doubt,
And you can never tell how close you are,
It may be near but it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
Its when things seem worst that you must not quit.